Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Trying to move on

Well Friday just went by in a blur; much as I thought it would. I was up at 6.30am and not home till 10pm. Such a full and emotional day, however I had the support of my new friends; my fellow travelers; my lovely husband and a dear friend, B.
I felt so numb in the morning standing at Kings Cross with about 20 others. We said some prayers and read the names but I couldn't cry or feel any emotion. I was shocked that a year ago at that time I thought I was going to die. It was surreal. As we then left to lay flowers at a church nearby I got a text from my mum in Australia. Telling me how much she loved and missed me and was thinking of me. Well the tears from that point on came and went all day.
During the 2min silence I stood with my fellow survivors near Tavistock square. We had 20 helium balloons for each person on our train which we then let go at the end of the silence, that for me was so moving, a show that we will never forget them and they will always be in our hearts.
At the end of the day more of us gathered together in Regents Park. What a moving ceremony that was. Some of the bereaved got up to read poems, I don't know how they did it, I was in blubbering tears through the whole thing. Crying for me, for my friends in KCU, for the bereaved and for all who are affected by terrorism in this world. M sat there so lovingly through the whole thing holding my hand. He was holding back the tears, being strong for me. Thank you so much baby for being there, it meant the world to have you by my side.
M and I then ended the day together at our favourite Chinese restaurant near home. It felt right having it just him and I, talking and reflecting, thinking positive for the future.

I then went away for the weekend with M and Holly. It was lovely. We did absolutely nothing but sleep, eat, drink and walk on the beach. I so didn't want to come back to London on Monday. It was such a bolt back to reality.

I am trying to move on and be positive but it is hard. I am going through a wave of emotions from numbness then to tears. Then the bombings happened in India. What is this world coming to? I have this strong feeling that things will get worse before it gets any better and that makes me so scared and sad. Why do people think senseless killing is the answer? I wish I had the answer to be able to reach these people before they decide to strap bombs to themselves. Do they really believe doing this will make them martyrs?

A promise I made a few months ago, was to live each day in the memory of my fellow travelers that didn't make it out on July 7th. To be positive and to move forward, I am trying and I know I will find it eventually. The support of KCU, M, family and friends is making sure I reach that. I wish the same messages could be passed to those committing senseless crimes.

x

1 Comments:

Anonymous stelios said...

I travel by tube regularly and since 7/7 i look out for the many cctv cameras.
At my local station which only has northbound and southbound platform i counted 28 visible cameras.
But why 21/7 and 26/6 there is loads of cctv that has been released into the public domain and why that cctv appears to be digital quality.
So why 7/7 no footage?

The bus driver George Psaradakis
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article542188.ece
as every source says went to acton to the CENTRAL MIDDLESEX hospital. .
And why would such a matrial witness be ALLLOWED to leave the scene?

http://news.scotsman.com/uk.cfm?id=761832005
this claims he drove the number 30 regularly but he in his own statement said that he swapped routes for that particular day

If i asked you do you think there should be a proper inquiry and investigation of all the events and issues surrounding 7/7 would you agree with it or do you think it is a ludicrous diversion?

1) Men who were part of a secret Al Qaeda organisation, that had the
ability to evaded western intelligence agencies for years, would NOT
have carried documents with them, whereby they could have been
identified, if captured, or after they killed themselves when the bombs
exploded. Such documents would enable the police to link them to their
families and provide an opportunity for the British police to start be
able to break into the 'secret Al Qaeda' organisation.

2) The men would not have split amongst themselves, documents belonging to one man, so that again, the web of the organisation can be connected, identified, tracked and hunted down. Do you honestly believe that paper passports would survive a bomb and fire. And why would suicide bombers be carrying all their ID with them. I NEVER EVER carry my passport or licence anywhere, in fact you are lucky if i have my AA card with me.

3) Muslim bomber goes to McDonalds for breakfast before blowing his bomb and himself? Sounds likely especially as McDonalds is mainly pork based and is boycotted by most muslims.

4) There is no reason why these men would travel, together, to London,
as again, this allows them to be linked together.

5) There is no reason why they would have driven from Leeds to Luton and then taken the train to London. Where did they disembark on arriving in London? Why would outside the arrival station for a group meeting
infront of Kings Cross and all its obvious CCTV cameras? Why not take a train all the way to London?

6) The fact the bus's 4 security cameras were not operating is very
suspicious. When was maintenance conducted on these cameras. What does the maintenance report say?
"We received an e mail from an employee of Stagecoach, the company
responsible for the majority of London buses. Our contact works a route
roughly one mile from the site of the bus bombing last Thursday. The bus
driver pointed out that the number 30 bus was the only one to be
re-routed after the initial bombs went off in the London Underground,
every other bus carried on its normal journey, but for some reason this
bus was diverted. The driver notes the following about CCTV maintenance. "CCTV gets maintained at least 2 or 3 times a week and can digitally store up to 2 whole weeks worth of footage. this is done by a private contractor....So when I heard that the CCTV wasn't working on a vehicle that's no more than 2 years old since last June.....I'm sorry that's
rubbish, I work for the company I know different." Also a point of
interest....last Saturday a contractor came to inspect the CCTV on the
buses at the depot, According to my supervisor the person spent more
than 20 hours over that weekend, 20 hours to see if the CCTV is working?
Also that person who came was not a regular contractor, for security
reasons the same few people always come to the depot to carry out work, this time it was different. Drivers in the depot already think the so
called bombers had inside help because it was to organised. Some even
think it had help from the company."


7) A bomber wishing to cause harm would done so BEFORE the Olympic
committee decided on the wining city, to ensure London did not win the
Olympic bid.

A bomber who wanted to strike against the UK would have tried to make sure that his actions would lead to only a minimal increase in powers being granted to anti-terror organisations.

9) To prove his cause worthy, a bomber would have tried to strike at a
target far more directly involved in oppression of Muslims. I dont mean to sound cold but 52 deaths during a morning rush hour with 4 bombs is a very low number. It could have been thousands. So were we lucky or was it planned. A bus in the rush hour can have 100 people on board. Tubes stations like Oxford Circus can half 20,000 people passing through them.

10) Why would a bomber detonate bombs in London at the time of the
extended G8 in Gleneagles? If they thought that the security in Scotland
was too tight then they would of course have realised that the security
in London would be almost as tight. Certainly it would have ranked
second to Gleneagles. Bombing at the same time as the G8, would only
help the psychotic liar Tony bLiar a golden opportunity to get the
worlds most powerful leaders to offer support to Mr bLiar. After all,
can you imagine a world leader refusing to stand behind bLiar as he made
his trickery-fakery condemnation? A series of bombs in other less well
CCTV'd cities, and against military or governmental targets would have
made far more sense.

11) Benjamin Netanyahu was given a warning before any bombs exploded to stay in his hotel room. Mr Netanyahu was planning to attend a conference in the Great Eastern hotel above the Liverpool Street subway station.
However this version of events has spawned multiple variations, with
some sources saying he was on the way, some reports saying he received the warning AFTER the bombs has exploded. Whenever Mr Netanyahu received the warning, who were ordinary civilians not warned? Not to warn them raises the charge of manslaughter. Who issued the warnings of attacks?
Evidence of their warnings should be given along with the timings of
their warnings to quash these incredibly serious allegations. Conference
participants are said to have been evacuated from the hotel. Where is
documentation about the timeline of this evacuation event?

12) New Scotland yard and Israeli authorities contradicted each other
about Mr. Netanyahu warning.

13) Peter Power (a former Scotland Yard official), Managing Director of
Public Relations firm Visor Consultants, which bills itself as a 'crisis
management' advice company, was working at one time with the Anti
Terrorist Branch. Mr Power said that a large company was, at 9:30am
7/72005, staging a drill at the EXACT SAME TIME and EXACT SAME LOCATION, where the railway station bombings occurred. The drill involved 'simultaneous bombings'. On 9/11/2001, the CIA conducted drills
involving hijacked planes flying into the WTC in New York and on the
Pentagon at 8:30am that morning. Mr. Power may have noting to do with
the bombings, but his information and correlation to 9-11 is deeply
disturbing. What is the significance of drills? It is said that the
'drills' are to provide a cover for the REAL government backed terror
operation. If the operatives were caught, they would simply say they are
part of the drill. Power himself refuses to release the identity of the
private company in London that these drills were being conducted for.
Why does this private company wish to remain anonymous? Power states the company has over 1,000 employees. We know that this company is called Verint a company where 3 of it's directors are in prison and which was delisted by NasDaq for stock fraud.

14) UK official sources stated that "high explosives", "probably of
military grade" were used in the London bombings. and not 'typical' of
home made devices.

15) The look of calm on many of the people close to the scene of the
bombings was unusually calm. If these people were genuine, then it
indicates that the 'bombings' were very low key. There is also the
possibility that a number of them interviewed after the bombings were actually people participating in the drill, and were possibly not actual real victims.

16) Israeli media reported that the explosives used in the bomb were
the same as used in Tel Aviv, as used, supposedly, by two
British Muslims on a suicide bomb misison there. It is said that one of
the bombs failed to detonate and one of the men ran away. Later his body was found on a beach. The Israeli media showed the men's British
passports and later, the passports were said to be fake. When has it
become policy to notify Israeli intelligence and the media on issues and
information concerning matters of British internal national security?

17) On 13/7/2005 British anti-terrorism agents detonated a series of
'controlled-explosions' in explosive devices left in the car in
Luton. Why would the bombers have left this material in the car? If this
was an intended bomb, then if it was set off, there would a link from
the London bombs to Luton train station, again enabling the police to
trace events and therefore be in a strong position to destroy the
"Secret Al Qaeda organisation in Europe" cell. If these unattended
explosive devices were functional back-ups then why were they abandoned? If they were dud's why were they abandoned? The explosives inside them would have aided explosion in London, whether they were in working order or not. What exactly are 'controlled explosions' How do they render explosive material safe? Why the need for ten controlled explosions? How can these multiple controlled explosions be done in such a way a to preserve forensic evidence? Why not just transport the explosive material to a safe location and detonate it there? Why not get a robot to try and disarm the device in the care there and then? How can destruction of evidence be allowed to take place? Surely ALL untainted evidence must be collected when investigating criminal cases. It is said that the bomb disposal unit/ anti-terrorist investigators were targeting specific parts of the car in order to try to limit damage to forensic clues. The theory and methodology, execution and results of this must be explained. Why remove the car in 4:30am darkness?

1 When investigating crimes, One key question that should always be
asked is... "Who benefits" The London bombs have achieved absolutely
nothing for the sake of what is called "radical Islamists" or whatever
label is used. Fear of Muslims has increased, Attacks on Muslims and
their property is now more likely. An opportunity for the deionisation
of something associated with Islam has resulted. The Image of Islam has
been Peoples fear level has increased which has inevitably led to the
public rallying behind the Government. New ID cards are more likely to
come into force whereas previously the population did not want
ID cards. Europe is reported to approve tighter security measures to
combat 'terrorism'.

19) The two Downing street memo's are a crushing blow to Tony bLiar
sickening pretence that he has been truthful about the war in Iraq.
These and his Jackie Milburn farce, his failure to uphold his nuevo
manifesto pledges clearly show that he's a pathological liar. The man is
dangerous, by his own admission as a consequence of his lies, he stated
categorically that an attack on London would result. In other words, the
citizens of London will pay a painful price for the lies of Tony bLiar.
Nothing he says should be believed. Another eerie event was the Death of
Dr David Kelly who, now it is known beyond any doubt, told the truth
about the Governments documents were sexed up. Kelly ended up dead, and reports indicating foul play have never been answered successfully. Tony bLiar cherry picked Lord Hutton to investigate the Kelly affair and
imposed restrictions on Huttons mandate to investigate the Death of
Kelly. Of course bLiar knew (as the downing street memo proves) that
Kelly was absolutely right. At that time the attorney General's legal
advice and the Downing street memo were still being covered from the
public. bLiar was in full knowledge of this. By calling for another
limited enquiry, he tried to play an ace and have the whole affair
buried and provide a doorstop to further claims about the whole
Iraq/Kelly/WMD event. And unfortunately, he has been partially
successful, in that the slow trickle of information showing bLiars
murderous actions never manages to surmount the crest of public
distaste, instead he has ridden over the gentle ups and downs of mild
political storms and lived to tell the tale. The ex-BBC journalist
Andrew Gilligan, made the assertion that the Government probably knew
the 45 minute claim was incorrect, has been proven in its entirety
without any residual doubt.

20) It is reported the bombers were ordinary 'law abiding folk' who
likes to play cricket and basketball, had 8 month babies and guys who
taught disabled schoolchildren. So that's the lifestyle of a suicide
bomber. What was the reason they blew themselves up? Why not just leave the bomb on the bus or tube and then make a leisurely, unsuspicious getaway? Live to fight another day, leave no incriminating evidence.
What was to gain by killing themselves. Nothing. What is to gain from the a section of the British Government having set the up as patsies and having them killed? Well, dead men cant incriminate anyone can they?
Like the Madrid bombs why not leave your rucksack and walk off why commit suicide it makes no logical sense.

Why are their NO eyewitnesses other that proven liar Richard Jones.
Why is there no CCTV released to the media who would spam it to the max?
Why is the government determined to prevent even a watered down inquiry, what are they scared of what have they got to hide?

12:16 AM  

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